we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
