im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize