When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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