I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize