i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
