i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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