thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
