so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
