They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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