I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
