Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
