Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
