38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
