They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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