Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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