She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
