I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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