What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
