how can u be prego again
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
