I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Randomize
