the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize