He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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