don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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