just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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