Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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