His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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