Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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