I'm so fucking centered right now
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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