Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
