Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize