Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
