And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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