I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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