Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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