The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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