quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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