didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Terrible idea I love it
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
