FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize