And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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