My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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