We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I have demons in me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize