we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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