I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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