I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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