I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
