At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
