I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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