What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize