i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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