Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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