I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
