Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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