I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
