I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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