So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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