remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
