I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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