Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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