I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
