Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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