Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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