on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
