I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
