Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i now understand why vodka
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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