Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
