you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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