Swine flu. Run for my life!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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