Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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