This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize