sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize